Dear Chris,
What right do you think you have to my film? Nobody gave it to you. You're just a jealous little shit who couldn't handle the fact that sombody else had something that you didn't. You were so overcome with jealousy that you hatched a scheme to fuck-over the only friend you had. You sacrificed all of your integrity and have been running from me like a pussy for your entire life.
Dear Chris,
You see? That's exactly why I kept telling you that I didn't want your help to catalog my film collection. Because I was afraid that you might not be mature enough to handle the responsibility. AND YOU'RE NOT. Even now, all these years later, you continue to whine and cry about it as if that's going to make a difference. GROW UP Chris, you're not twelve years old anymore!
Chris,
Yes, my priceless and irreplaceable, million-dollar historic film collection DOES mean a lot to me. It's not some trinket you just take. That's why I made it perfectly clear to you not to screw around, that I wanted it returned in its entirety and that my selling price is one-million dollars.
That's the price you agreed to pay if FOR ANY REASON you failed to return it. YOU offered as collateral everything you have, everything you have ever had and everything you ever will have, until you have replaced every single frame of my collection. In addition, you swore on the lives of your two children that you would spend the rest of your life trying to replace it, if FOR ANY REASON you failed to return it. Furthermore, you agreed not to so much as watch another movie until my film collection was returned to me.
Greg,
I want you to know something kinda' personal about me...
I can't watch my favorite movie without thinking about you two guys. It usually makes me angry. Although, for most of the time when I wasn't sure why, I would usually just hope that you were doing well and having good lives. So sad.
~Vic
Shitbag,
What was my answer when you asked me if you can have my film collection? The answer was NO! Even in your bullshit story, I did not give it to you. Right? AND, what was my answer every other single time you asked, or nagged? That's right, my final answer was NO.
Now, how much of a stupid, fucking, asshole do you need to be, to think it would be ok to "take it" and run off like a pussy for twenty years? The answer is still NO. The fact that you're a shitbag is irrelevant.
Dear Greg Wolf,
So, ...you're a lying, thieving, shitbag, too?
Chris would not be able to get away with stealing my property if you didn't lie to help him. I NEVER would have suspected that you are such a dick. Chris never even liked you! I always stuck up for you when Chris would talk-shit about you. So tell me... what was it that convinced you help Chris Lamont fuck me over?
Dear Christopher Lamont,
Do you remember the promise you made to me? The promise was "You would guard and protect with your LIFE, my priceless film collection. AND... If FOR ANY REASON you did not return it, or if anything happened to it while it was in your care, you would pay my full asking price of one million dollars or spend the rest of your life trying to replace it." Do you remember that? ...well, you should. You were down on your knees with your hand on my Bible when you made that promise.
And then what did you do? ...You ran off with it like a little pussy. Is that how you show gratitude towards your friends? Is that how you repay me for sticking up for you and being the only friend you had for all those years? What a shitbag you are. Why would you think that if you ran long enough it would magically become yours somehow? You have just proven that you are more and more of a shitbag as the years have gone by. My priceless and irreplaceable historic film collection STILL belongs to me, AND you are still a shitbag.
Dear Wolf Children,
You might not remember me, ...but I met you both on a Sunday afternoon in 2005. I'm your "Uncle Vic" from California. You're probably now around the age your dad and I were, when we had our little film club growing up in Phoenix, AZ.
I wonder, ...do you know better (at your age) than to steal your "best friends" most precious possessions, and run off with it for more than twenty years, ...and then act stupid and ignorant like you don't know anything about it? That's plan your father and your "Uncle Chris" dreamed up.
Chris Lamont,
Let me tell you about the main flaws with your diabolical plan (for anyone except a complete shitbag):
Dear Chris,
You're such an asshole. How do you go through life knowing what a fucking asshole you are?
Let me say this again, for the one-millionth time... "YOU CAN NOT HAVE MY FILM!" How many times do I have to say it? Return my stuff, you stupid shit!
It doesn't matter how long you've been able to avoid me. At no point does MY film magically become yours. Our agreement WAS NOT that "you will return my film, ...unless you run off like a scumbag chicken-shit for twenty years" ...or anything like that. The agreement was "you will return my film, ...unless you die". So either RETURN MY FILM, pay for it, or KILL YOURSELF.
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