Dear Christopher Lamont,

Do you remember the promise you made to me? The promise was "You would guard and protect with your LIFE, my priceless film collection. AND... If FOR ANY REASON you did not return it, or if anything happened to it while it was in your care, you would pay my full asking price of one million dollars or spend the rest of your life trying to replace it." Do you remember that? ...well, you should. You were down on your knees with your hand on my Bible when you made that promise.

And then what did you do? ...You ran off with it like a little pussy. Is that how you show gratitude towards your friends? Is that how you repay me for sticking up for you and being the only friend you had for all those years? What a shitbag you are. Why would you think that if you ran long enough it would magically become yours somehow? You have just proven that you are more and more of a shitbag as the years have gone by. My priceless and irreplaceable historic film collection STILL belongs to me, AND you are still a shitbag.

I don't want to hear some bullshit excuse about how you couldn't find me to return it, or how I didn't want it and abandoned it in your care. These are the things only a real shitbag would say. Ok? I agreed to let you help me catalog my collection for only TWO DAYS! ...with the single condition that you RETURN IT. You've had over TWENTY YEARS to fulfill your promise, but instead you've decided to spend your life being a cowardly shitbag! Was it worth it? What is the price of your integrity? What did you get out of the deal that was so important that you are willing to trade your life and your children's lives for?

Do you remember the promise I made to you? I promised to you that IF FOR ANY REASON you failed to return my property, I would NEVER forgive you and I would NEVER let you live it down or forget it. Do you remember that? You should, you were still on your knees with your hand on my Bible. This website is FOR YOU. I don't want you to think I've forgotten my promise, or that it became alright by me that you betrayed me and stole my property. You know, some people spend their whole lives trying to be better people. You are the only person I have EVER met that has spent most of his entire life trying to be MORE of a shitbag.

You need to grow up. I'm sorry that you are SO jealous of me. I'm sorry that you wish so bad that it were your property, instead of being a good friend and being happy for me. You need to get over it. Stealing and being a shitbag then running like a pussy is not the answer. You should have just been thankful that I decided to share some of it with you, instead of being even more jealous and conniving. You should not have dismissed all the help I offered to you and your family, while being overcome by your stupid greed.

Being a shitbag is not an acceptable excuse. No excuse is acceptable, but certainly not simply that you are a greedy little shitbag with no morals or integrity. Do you understand what I'm telling you? I'm saying that you need to GROW UP and stop being a shitbag. If you want to tell yourself that "you lost it" and it's not your fault, that's fine. You lost it. Now that you've lost my property that you promised to pay one million dollars for if you failed to return it, ...YOU NEED TO PAY ME. If you don't have my money, then you need to sign over the rights to everything you own, ...have ever owned, ...will ever own, ...until you have replaced it. What is so hard to understand about that? YOU made the deal, now, quit being a shitbag, ...stand up like a man, ...show some balls and integrity, ...and fulfill your promise.

Until you can quit being a shitbag, you are worthless! You are a waste of space! You are a waste of carbon atoms. You are consuming resources (water, air, etc) that could be better used by someone with a little bit of backbone. If you insist on being a shitbag, do the whole world a favor and just kill yourself. There are already far too many shitbags in this world. You're ruining the experience of life for those of us who are good people with morals and integrity.

Best of luck to you,