Chris Lamont,

Let me tell you about the main flaws with your diabolical plan (for anyone except a complete shitbag):

1) First, it requires that you keep it (the stolen property) forever. You have to put it someplace safe and don't let anybody else steal it. Put it somewhere and forget all about it for a long time, ...maybe 10, 20, or even 30 or more years.

2) Next, the whole time ...you're going to know that you're a fucking asshole. You must stay committed to the plan and just be a fucking shitbag FOR YOUR WHOLE LIFE! Really. Now what's THAT worth?

3) Finally, you have to hope that something tragic happens to your "friend" so you can keep your dark little scumbag secret to yourself. What a shitbag you are.

So just cough it up and quit being a dick. No hard feelings, just return my property and be on your way.

Peace,

~Victor