A friend forwarded to me this very interesting piece by Paul Rosenberg. Sociopathy is a very important subject, and one we should all be familiar with. Let's start with definitions, to be clear:

A sociopath is a person who lacks empathy. A psychopath is the same as a sociopath; it is just an older word. This term was more or less dropped when people started calling each other "psycho." Sociopaths very seldom become "psycho killers."

There has been a lot of debate over these definitions. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), in its third edition, changed these terms to anti-social personality disorder (ASPD). (In my opinion, this was purposely done to confuse the concept, as well as to promote the sales of psychological services.) In so doing, they obscured the original markers of the condition, which were:

• A lack of empathy.
• Superficial charm.
• An inflated self appraisal.

These were the original characteristics attributed to sociopathy, and the ones we will stay with.

Lack of empathy is the root of this condition, and the other characteristics flow from that.

Empathy is the ability to imagine ourselves feeling what another is feeling and feeling along with them. It is actually the root of morality, but that explanation will have to wait for another time. What is important now is that empathy lies at the heart of human cooperation. People who lack empathy do not cooperate – they use others. They may use you in ways that appear to be pleasant, but they are still using you.

One of the primary functions of empathy is to say "how would I like it if someone did that to me?" Normal people do this all the time, and it makes us uncomfortable as we begin to do something we really shouldn't. The sociopath, however, does not feel this. So, with no internal restraints, the sociopath appears confident, unconflicted and charming. This sucks in a LOT of victims.

The third characteristic of sociopaths is an inflated self-appraisal. This seems to be something that sociopaths learn as they pass through childhood. The process works, more or less, like this:

• The empathy routines of "normal" people cause them to presume that sociopaths also have empathy. We tend to think that other people are like us. We would never imagine that the sociopath would care nothing for how we feel.
  
  
• The sociopath makes use of others. He gets them to do chores for him, or take the blame for him. Since the rest of us have learned to "pitch-in together" and "watch out for each other," we play the role the sociopath lays in front of us. We are sure that he'd do the same for us… because we are sure that he is just like us.
  
  
• This false pattern gives the sociopath a clear predatory advantage, which normals seem to have no ability to resist.
  
  
• Thus the sociopath feels like a member of a more powerful class of beings, and is biased toward the plunder of others. Even in youth, the ease with which normals accept them as ‘meaning well' confirms a natural order to the sociopath: He uses and the others line-up to be used.

I think you can see from this why people who lack empathy present significant and unusual dangers. This condition exists in only a small minority, but it has caused a massively disproportionate share of damage. The reason for this is simply that people who lack empathy naturally seek power, awards and applause. Obedience, praise and demeaning others become their sources of satisfaction. Being unable to feel empathy also means that they can't process appreciation and respect the way the rest of us can.

On one hand, it is natural to feel compassion for the sociopath – they are damaged, after all. But, we cannot show compassion for them in the normal way – that plays directly into their abusive game. (Sociopaths seek the compassion of normals – it makes using them much easier.) We should show compassion, first, for the victims of sociopaths. Then, perhaps, someday, methods of fixing sociopaths may be found.

Remember, you cannot allow yourself to play the sociopath's game, and you should protect yourself and others before you do anything else. That is not being "hard-hearted," it is merely the acceptance that reality is, in fact, real.

So, how many people are really sociopaths? Figures have ranged from one to four percent, but recent cross-research shows that the true number is probably very close to 2% However, it is also important to know that sociopathy is not all or nothing. Some people are partial sociopaths, rather than full sociopaths. (No matter, they are still almost certain to make use of you.)

Remember that sociopaths are very good at blending in, and that even when you see evidence of their condition, you may have difficulty admitting it.

There is absolutely no known treatment or cure for sociopathy. (Sorry, that's the truth.)

Here are some tips for recognizing a sociopath:

• They make you feel sorry for them.
• They scare or worry you.
• They make you feel guilty.
• They make you feel that you owe them.
• They make you feel used.
• They take a lot and give very little back.
• They take advantage of your kindness.
• They are easily bored.
• They blame others, not themselves.